Branding

This one is a throwback to when I thought I was a fashion blogger, looking back, It wasn't half bad.

Summer Memories | Chroniphonium

Illustrator Progress

I promised myself I'd do some illustrator practice and I actually did! It's on of those things that once you start you can't stop.

Nandos | Queen Street Review

Nandos Review

Being from England, Nandos is definitely a bit of a delicacy there so when I moved over to New Zealand I couldn't wait to see what Nandos was like in the Pacific. Unfortunately, it was really disappointing, the chicken was try, the restaurant wasn't clean, the service was terrible and I realised that Nandos isn't such a big deal over her. Since then I'd only been to Nandos twice but last week my boyfriend persuaded me to give it another go and we decided to try out the Nandos on Queen Street.

First off, it's a really pretty restaurant, nothing like the greasy spoon I went to the first time and the staff were really friendly too. And most importantly the food was absolutely brilliant. We ordered a full chicken and with two large sides (Peri Peri chips) and honestly, I've been dreaming of that meal since, it was like I was back in Newcastle. If anyone is stuck for somewhere to eat in Auckland's CBD give Nandos a try.

5/5

Book Review | Every Exquisite Thing

Matthew Quick's Every Exquisite Thing is definitely a novel about rebellion. It explores how dangerous it can be to follow the status quo. It's an anthem for the introverts, the misfits and all the people who didn't really fit in at school. But in saying that, it's also an anthem for the pretentious, for the wannabe hipsters and for the people that hid behind being different because, in all honesty, they were really no different to anyone else deep down. We're all clinging onto things that make us appear different and special and this book definitely panders to that but it just comes off a little pretentious. It's a very 'i'm not like other girls I'm different' and this really starts to grind on you after a while. Quick's writing was overly pretentious and Nanette was on the whole just a boring character. She was a little bit of a placeholder so other girls could easily insert themselves into her position.

The story unfolds through 16-year-old Nanette O'Hare's perspective, despite being a mediocre rich, suburban white girl, she believes that she is somehow special and different to everyone else. She thinks this because she likes reading Charles Bukowski, watching art house films and reading inside. I don't think Nannette or Matthew Quick realised that nowadays there is a whole subculture of rich white kids who love doing this.


Throughout the book, Nannette is asked if she thinks she's better than everyone. If I remember correctly, I think she says she's not better, but different. But that's the thing, I don't really think she is different. I think she's just as bland and hides behind all the idea of being weird to make herself feel better about how painfully mediocre she actually is. She has no interests, passions or anything and spends most of the book feeling sorry for herself. I don't really get a strong sense of character from her at all.


While usually, this book is something I'd really enjoy, I didn't like it, I might even go as far as to say I hated it. I think that maybe if I'd read this book when I was 15, I would have loved it. I think there was a point where I was like Nannette and that's why this novel irritated me so much because I could recognise myself in the way she felt about herself and the world and how annoyed it sounded. There was a bit of an air or superiority when she looked at how her classmates and her "best friend" Shannon's lives revolved around getting drunk and having sex with boys. The middle school sex scandal part was particularly interesting to me because it reminded me of what used to go on  at my school. I think it successfully highlighted teen attitudes to sex and the strange teen culture around sex and drinking and shows how empty it is, or how weird it seems? At least to me anyway. However I think that maybe because It was coming from a male writer, some of the comments around sexuality didn't completely seem honest to me.

In saying all this, I think that this novel is perfect for introverted teens. It has some really strong messages and themes that would be helpful for teens in the same position as Nanette.

"Just because you're good at something doesn't mean you have to do it"

‘They can’t make me into a joiner without my permission.’ 

Dotted around the bullshit, there are little moments of brilliance in there. It does a great job of really showing how you don't have to conform to the masses, and being an individual is something to be celebrated not stamped out. But that message gets a little lost. Alex is a good example of how the characters are all obsessed with the ideas in the bubblegum reaper, and how they hide behind it.

Booker is somewhat of a saving grace because he highlights the importance of talking things out and community. While this novel can romanticise ostracism Booker helps show how important genuine human connections are and yes while you may pride yourself of "hating people" and being the weird girl no one likes, human relationships and extremely important. There's nothing wrong with belonging. 


I think Nannette liked being an outsider mainly because she had no personality of her own. Being different was everything she was and without that, I guess she was just like everyone else. I didn't really get a strong sense of self, or character from her. She comes across as a selfish glorified hipster and that's where this novel really lost it for me.

3/5

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At Some Point You've Got To Start

Today was the day I tried to be productive.

Today was also the day I failed to be productive.

I realised I have far too many days like this. You see I’m a very sneaky human being, I try to trick myself into thinking I am doing something worthwhile by watching videos on and of things that are supposed to be inspiring to me. While these things do have the desired effect and do make me want to pick up a pen, camera, or guitar, it’s never quite enough and then I’m right back to square one, except this time I’m feeling even worse because I have this desire to create but I just can’t seem to bring myself to do it.

Forcing yourself to be productive is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but also having to face that you’ve spent yet another day in a position that isn't any closer to where you want to be is also hard. As I write this, my mum is downstairs of the treadmill. If you were a member of my family you'd realise how truly inspiring this is. 

This post is an act of defiance, an act rebellion against myself. I thought by collecting this feeling of frustration and turning it into a collation of (semi) coherent words, I will have somehow convinced myself that I haven’t wasted my entire day. I guess I haven’t because while I haven’t done any of the things I was meant to do today, I have realised something. Every time I've thought about actually putting pen to paper, eyes to a page or fingers on strings today, I felt this sinking feeling in my stomach and I think I’ve finally realised what it is.

It’s fear.

It’s the fear that whatever I do will be anything other that great. But I read something today that said that the next thing I write doesn’t have to be my magnum opus or the next thing I draw doesn’t have to be the Mona Lisa. It just has to exist and I just has to be mine.

So every day I want to challenge myself. Scratch that, I want to publicly make a commitment to myself to create at least one thing every day. To read at least one thing a day. It doesn’t have to great or anything more than a pile of shit. It just has to be something.

I want to promise myself that I’m not going to let myself become an obstacle in achieving my own dreams and goals. DSLR guide said that at some point you’ve got to start and I’m laughing to myself right now because I was just about to write, “and that day is tomorrow.”  That day is today.

I just caught sight of my Keep Calm and Carry On book and I decided to do that thing where the first page you open becomes the mantra for your whole life and it just so happens that the page I turned to was this completely apt quote by Aristotle:

happiness depends on ourselves

And while Aristotle and I have had quite a rocky relationship in the past, today he’s spot on. My happiness depends on myself so I’m going to go out, finish this post, and make my own happiness.

New Year | Thoughts, Reflection and Rambling

So it’s that time of year again, when we all reflect on the year we’ve had and either cry with disappointment or pat ourselves on the back. I’ve always loved the start of the year. I can always feel an electricity in the air because everyone’s bursting with hope and excitement about the upcoming year even if it is just a “I hope it’s not as shit as the last one.”

Every time someone asks me about my year I always automatically say, “uhh it was alright” because usually all my years range from pretty crap to alright, but this year I actually had a pretty decent year despite what my mouth says. I went through some pretty big changes and I really think I’ve grown and learned so much more about who I am and how I fit into this world and also how to exist in this world as someone completely and thoroughly true to my self.

So let’s look back at some of the things I’m proud of this year.

I started University

This perhaps wasn’t my most thought out decision but I think I heard someone say that all the best ideas happen in the spur of the moment. I picked a course I really didn’t know much about and landed myself right in the deep end and it actually payed off. I never would have thought it but I actually like going to Uni and learning. I like learning. This degree really has changed me for the better and I’m really thankful even though my heart is still really pushing me towards design communication.

I had my own exhibition

I keep downplaying this in my head but it was actually a pretty big deal for me. I mean I actually had an exhibition in the Auckland Festival of Photography.

I got into the Top Art exhibition and got an Outstanding Scholarship in photography

Another thing I downplay a lot. Photography was just something I tried because I couldn’t draw and I like to hoard physical things, and I wanted to be able to hoard the beautiful things I saw too, so to see that other people actually thought what I did was actually half decent was pretty cool.

Challenged myself creatively

This year was a bit of a slack one creatively, but while I didn’t pursue my big passions, (photography and writing) I did get a little more into film, even though that was mainly making a few crappy make-shift videos.

Made new friendships

I met a LOT of people this year, and it was a lot I’m not going to lie. However, I think this was a good thing for me as person because I’m not as afraid of people as I used to be.

Got a Job

This is most definitely the thing I’m happiest about. Money used to put such a strain on me. I wasn’t able to do a lot of the things everyone else could do and I always felt pressure because I had to say no to things not because I didn’t like someone’s company, but because I didn’t have the means to. Getting a job hasn’t just helped me financially but personally too and I’ve loved that I can help my family out with things and be a little more independent.

Natural Hair Journey

Lordy lord, my hair’s come a long way and this year is officially my 4^th year anniversary of being relaxer free and my 2^nd year of being fully natural. It’s been good to get to know my hair a little more and I can’t help but feel a little more myself because of it.

Sang at an event

This was definitely a highlight just because it made me remember how much I actually do like singing and performing and it reignited a passion that I thought had retired to a gentle simmer.

So now the looking back’s all done and dusted it’s time to look forward, even though the thought terrifies me. I remember I was sitting in some assembly at my old high school and they’d invited some guy to come and speak and inspire us or something and I guess it kind of worked on me because something he said really stayed me with me.

Where you start isn’t where you’re going to end up.

I don’t know why but that phrase has given me comfort, just in everything.

In the last few days of year I used to sit down and write down a list of resolutions as long as your arm, but last year I tried something different. This was mainly because when I sat down to review the list the following year, it was always kind of disappointing. I think planning your life out like that is a little dangerous, because when you look back at your list and you haven’t accomplished a lot of things on it, you equate it to failure. But I’ve learned that not being able to tick a few things of a list does not mean you have failed at life, it just means you haven’t ticked a few things off a list.

I’ve seen a few people focus their year around a central idea or a world, so I decided to follow suit and after having a long hard think I have settled on two words for the year.

Wholehearted and Make

In the past I’ve been a little bit of a passenger and I really haven’t had much of a passion for life and this year I want that to change and I want my life to be something that I actually like being present for (funny that).

So here we go, lets see if it works out this year.

Wish me luck.